I have had some good training runs, swims and bike rides. I have done a few bricks where I felt SO FREAKING AWESOME.
Then there was yesterday's brick and I just felt completely DEFEATED.
Towards the end of my horrendous bike ride, right around mile 11, I burst into tears. With the temperature hovering around 85 degrees, humidity at 85% and winds at 17MPH (before I got on the bike), I wondered WHY THE HELL AM I DOING THIS? Cars were whizzing by me (don't get me started on cars hogging the road and driving by a little too close for comfort- that is an ENTIRE post on its own), I was hot and tired, not looking forward to the run that was imminent, and had tears rolling down my face....while RIDING. With cars on the road.
MY friend Kim has done one tri and has given me some GREAT tips. Swim on the outside to avoid the masses. Have a towel set up in transition. Roll your socks off in *xyz* way so that when you come off your bike, you can just roll them onto your feet. GU and hydrate. Do a mini-tri practice run prior to the race.
But she doesn't live inside my head. I do.
I hate the heat (this would be why I typically lay off the running during the Summer).
The logistics of every brick, run, ride or swim seem to be especially daunting right now.
Blah blah blah.
I have done everything on my training plan. Physically, I am as ready as I ever will be.
However, I need to get my head in the right place. I need to find a women's tri group to train with. I need to remind myself that this is a new thing for me, that I need to give myself a little slack and not be so hard on ME. I need to remember that running my first half marathon wasn't all that glorious (hip issues) and I am in a way BETTER position than I was three years ago. I have to let go with the pressure of letting ya'll down, or my family because really, I am not letting anyone down, am I? Regardless of the time I finish in? I need to take all the support, motivation, and inspiration that I give to others and give it to MYSELF.