Dear Me- I have lots to tell you

Dear 2012 Me,

Ah Lisa, here we sit again.  You've done this exercise before and now it's time to do it again. Do you have it in you to hear about all of the wonderful things you did in 2012?  Good, because I am going to tell you, but this year, I'm going to break it down a little differently.

Physical
You are still a running fool and you have gotten to know your body SO well.  You know the familiar aches and pains associated with running, what to do to alleviate those aches and pains, how to strengthen your body and when to call the doctor, although that last one is happening less and less- bravo!

Internally, you have committed to running a race per month but haven't really told anyone about that goal....until now!  You will complete a few 5k's, the Capital 10K, a half marathon or two and maybe, just maybe, you will conquer the full marathon.  I know this is your 2013 self writing you but even I don't know if that's in the cards for you *this* year.  With your current living situation, the never-ending stress of building a house (which will be done sometime this year- promise!), living with your MIL, taking care of the three kids mainly by yourself, only your current self really knows if a full marathon in 2012 is in the cards for you.  Let me know how that goes : ).

Regardless, you will train your daughter Sophie to run her own kid race and will have the time of your life doing it.  Also, your 3 yr old son will shock you by running too and beating everyone on the course (the little guy never stops!).

You will mentor a newbie runner for the Zooma Half Marathon in March and will rekindle your love for running.  Although you didn't quite believe you had what it took to be a mentor to someone else, you will surprise yourself, and enjoy it immensely too.

You will conquer the triathlon this year, competing in several triathlon races over the summer.  You will build up the necessary strength in your legs to power you through biking on to running.  You will conquer the slight  fear you have of open water swims (fear isn't really the right word but you know what I  mean) and will glide through the water powerfully and with purpose, as if you are one with the water.

Mental
You have become SO strong and patient over the last year.  You will continue to grow in this area, not only with your family but with yourself.  Remember, you can only control your behaviors and actions/reactions.  Be kind. Be strong. Show grace. Show forgiveness.  You are so much more than you think you are.  You can do so much more than you think you can.  When the times get tough, and they will, remember this- regardless of what stresses are going on with your extended family, you can handle it.  You may not like it, but you can handle it.  There is so much love and kindness and affection and caring and really, isn't THAT what life is really all about?

You're turning 40 years old this year.  According to your kids, you are OLD.  I am here to tell you Lisa, you are not old.  I don't think you think that, anyway.  You will accept this new age like it's any other age with the exception of proving everyone wrong of what they think the typical 40 year old should be.   You are beautiful, smart, loving, supportive, funny and sometimes- a little crazy.  I know you want to hit Las Vegas with your bestest friends to celebrate this momentous year- I'm here to tell you that ya'll made it happen and had the time of your lives.  Take care of that wondrous body you have, it is yours to keep, forever and ever.

Other
Allright Lisa, these are just some tidbit reminders that have been nagging at you to do/not do.  It's my job as your future self to bring them to your attention, again.

• Be present for your children.  Turn off your computer, put down your phone, turn off your TV, don't make any phone calls and be present for THEM.
• Pay attention to your husband and his needs.  You and he are the role models of what a marriage should be for your children.
• Get your shit organized.  Write it down, put it on the calender, clean it out and JUST DO.  'Nuff said about that one.
• Make time for scrapbooking.  Remember when you were in the garage the other day and you ran across the older scrapbooks you had done?  Remember that feeling of happiness that you had captured your family on paper?  Return to it and get those pictures on paper.  Pinkie-promise?
• Network, network, network.  Don't forget that all important conversation you had with Anthony about future job opportunities in the next few years.  You know what I am talking about (this could be several blog posts in itself).  You have a lot to offer to others, you have an idea of what you want to do, and now, you need to find where that job exists or create it yourself.  You know how to do this and you are good at it.  There is no hurry just yet since the youngest is still a few years away from elementary school, but these things take time.  

OK my dear woman.  It's time for you to go to bed and get some precious sleep.  There is so much life out there for you to experience.  LIVE.  LAUGH.  LOVE.

Love Always, 

Your 2013 Self

This was written in response to the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans *Dear Me* project.

New Year's Resolution Run 5K Race Report- a PR, a Fist Pump and a Gangsta Sign

Well, well, well.

I had my first race of the 2012 season- The New Year's Resolution Run 5k.

For the first time ever, I decided to *race*.  You might be wondering what the difference is between *running* a race and *racing* a race.  Until this past Saturday, I didn't really think there was a difference and I didn't really care.  I've read various posts from runner blogs that I look up to about the art of *racing*- coming up with a race strategy, pushing yourself to go a bit faster than normal, and leaving it ALL on the course by the time you are done.

me and Kim

My previous race strategy was this- just get to the finish line without keeling over, passing out or throwing up.  I did not have the mental capacity nor the confidence to actually *race*.  I didn't think it really mattered because I knew I was not even close to fast enough to placing, so I just didn't do it, I just didn't push myself to race and now, I think I was just copping out.

Whatever. I am still proud of each and every race I've done but now, I've been bitten by the racing bug.

I decided to give it my ALL and to JUST RUN and NOT STOP unless I thought my heart was going to explode.  Ya'll know that I run/walk and I love run/walk and will tell everyone I meet that I run/walk, BUT for this race, I just wanted to fly and NOT stop.  I just wanted to see what I could do if I didn't hold myself back.

I flew and it felt awesome.  Also, towards the end when I was getting tired and I had about 0.5 miles to go, I let the old doubts creep back in and I walked.  No big deal but when I crossed the finish line, I realized I still had some gas in the tank and I should have never slowed down, especially at the end.  I should have kicked it into high gear and left it all out on the course.

You runners know EXACTLY what I am talking about.

Next time, I won't slow down.  I will leave it all out on the course.

This 5k race was a PR for me (personal record).  Fist pump!

32:23 min with an average pace of 10:25 m/m. (my normal, every day pace is typically 11-12 m/m), placing 7th (out of 32) in the Athena category.

So happy to be done and acting silly

Shut the front door.

Shut the freaking front door.

I PLACED?!  I mean, I always get a place but I never pay attention to that stuff because well, you know. But yeah, this time I placed 7th in my category and I just cannot believe it (if I hadn't walked right there at the second half of the race and pushed it instead, I would have placed 4th/5th because not much time separated us- SMFD).

Still- happy clap, woot woot, and a double FIST PUMP!!!!!

Lastly, I have to give a huge shout-out to my friend Kim, who ran her first 5K ever and did fantastically awesome- I am so freaking proud of her.  We started the race together and I really think we pushed one another the first half- push push push! We separated on the second half of the course but I'm now thinking we should have stayed together and kept that PUSH momentum going : ).

We're such bad-asses and so proud happy to be done of ourselves!

Also, we like to throw gangsta signs around.

Lastly, lastly, this race was the FIRST time my family met me at the finish line (and before the finish line, too). It was SO awesome to round a corner and see my husband and three monkeys jumping up and down and yelling my name, even better when my son ran with me to the finish line.  No picture of that but it will be forever be etched on my memory.  I think it made an impression on them as well, because now Sophie is begging me to sign her up for a Kids Run AND she wants to actually *train* for it!

Never think for one minute that we don't influence our children.

Mine and Kim's families together- damn, that's a lot of kiddos between us, lol!

LOVE LOVE LOVE.

An intense debate raging through my head

There are some intense debates going on in my head right now.

Should I change the name of this blog?

The first three years of this blog were all about the family, the kids, motherhood and whatnot.  However, in the past two years and especially the last year, more and more of my posts have turned to my other favorite topic- running (and that brief Summer affair with triathlons. Don't worry- the triathlon circuit will be returning again in just a few months- ha!).

Anyhoo, if I had more time to devote to this, I think I would have changed my blog already to maybe something like:

-Just Another Runner
-Running Mo' (Mo' as in *More*, Mo' as in *a shortened version of our last name*, Mo' as in (Mommy))
-Running MoJo
-Run Mom Run
-See Mom Run
-And Then There Was A Mom Running

I could go on and on.  Also, I don't just write about running (see above).  It's a quandary, I tell you.
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There is also another debate raging through my head.

If you run-walk-run-walk-run-walk to complete your mileage, do you consider yourself a runner or do you identify yourself as a run/walker?  See, I've done both but NOW I am a committed run/walker but I say I am a runner and I consider myself a runner.

I figure I get the job done while giving my body short (very much needed walk breaks) and my pace is still 11-12 minutes, even with those walk breaks.  Sometimes, like this morning, I can crank out a 10:25 min mile even with walk breaks- yes, it is possible.  And yes, I can run the entire mile (or whatever) but why would I want to?!!!!!  I love my walk breaks and a lot of times, I use the thought of an upcoming walk break to push myself harder on the running portions.  Make sense?

Plus, if it's good enough for Jeff Galloway, then it's good enough for me.

Others might see it differently though.  What do you think?  Do you consider those who run/walk to be runners?

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Furthermore, I am doing a 5K Resolution Run this weekend (and tacking on an additional 3 miles because I am in the midst of half marathon training and my long run for Saturday needs to be a total of 6 miles).  When registering, the form asked if I would be competing in the Athena category- Female over 150 lbs.

So my choices were Females age 31-39 or Athena Female, over 150 lbs.

I'm not sure exactly how I feel about being separated into a different category due to my weight.  I mean, I get it- I certainly don't want to compete with the chicks that are 100lbs wet, but really, over 150 lbs is considered *different and necessary of its' own category*?  A part of me doesn't give a flying hoot and want every advantage I can partake in.  Let's be honest, I haven't weighed 150 lbs in a very long time and I'm not sure I'll ever reach 150 again.  Another part of me doesn't like being categorized by weight.

Then, a very smart Brooke asked me *how I would feel if I won an Athena award*?

The answer- Freaking Ecstatic, Jumping For Joy, Fist-Pumping BOO-YAH.  

I have never won a running award (except in my heart) and seriously, I never expect to because *cue honesty*, my average pace is not quite on the same skill level as the elite runner. I couldn't even type that last sentence without chuckling because comparing my pace to an elite runner pace- F'ILARIOUS.

What do you think about having a separate category for those of us who weigh more than 150 lbs?

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I assume everyone knows what F'ILARIOUS means, right?

Chime in- give me your deep thoughts (or not).

Peace out!

Three on three

Except that it's really three on sixteen.  What the heck am I talking about? Several lovely blogs that I read have jumped on the movement that Steph from Adventures in Babywearing unintentionally started and well, I love this idea so much that I want to participate as well.

Steph takes a picture of her four kids on the fourth of the month, every single month.  When December rolls around, she has a minimum of 12 pictures of her brood.  I so need to do the same because I am finding that as life gets busier and busier, I take out my camera less and less and my kids are growing up right before my eyes and I am NOT capturing it.

Bad mom.

So, I bring to you three on three (picture of my three kids on the third of every month).  I am forcing myself to take their pictures again (and they are pretty cute, aren't they) before they turn into teenagers overnight.

Miraculously, I did take their picture on the third of this month but it's with my camera phone and they are laying down.  They had decided to all sleep together on the floor and they looked so freaking cute that I quickly grabbed my smartphone and snapped their picture.  I totally got lucky : ).

I hope I don't forget to snap their chops on February 3rd, lol!!!!

Also, my youngest can now say *I love you, mama* (he's been in speech therapy since November) and let me tell you, my heart bursts into a million pieces every single time he says it.

Furthermore, the middle child verbally competes with me as to who loves whom more.  There is no contest sweet child- I love YOU more.  For true.

Lastly, my oldest quizzed me last week about her brother, wondering why his skin is darker than hers and the other brother and why they don't look alike (in her mind).  I assured her that yes, indeed it is possible for kids to have the same parents but not look exactly alike and have different skin color, that the color of our skin is not what makes us a family.  I said that *Sam is part of our family.....that he is and will always be your brother*.  She responded with *Are you SUURRREEEEE, Mama?*.  She said it so emphatically and with just the right amount of a teasing, loving tone that I immediately burst out laughing.

Also, she is the tallest 8 year old I know, measuring around 4 ft 6 inches tall : ).

BOOM.  SHATTER.  CRASH.

That's the sound of my heart exploding out of my chest and hitting the floor, splattering into a million pieces of love for these kids of mine.

Measuring Up

Pacing.

It's about the journey to your results, not how fast you get there.

The first year or so I was a runner, I was so concerned about my pace.  Like it would make me anxious and nervous every time I went out for a run.  I was constantly worried about how fast I was going (or not) and how it measured up to my runner friends.  I felt so slow compared to every single other runner I know.

It took me a long time to accept that I might never measure up to them in actual time pace, but in other ways, I measure up just fine.  The only one I need to be pacing is myself.  So I let go of trying to measure up to everyone else's measures and instead, just focused on my own measures.

It was freeing.

And check it out, this morning I went for a little run and all I wanted was to have a good run because let's face it, my runs since returning from our 11 day vacation have been anything but stellar.  I put my mind in charge of this run, ignoring everything except the voice in my head chanting *just run just run just run*.  I needed a solid run to boost my confidence and to remind myself that yes, I CAN DO THIS and I WILL DO THIS.  

Now I notice other newer runners comparing themselves to me and I want to yell at them *stop the comparison game*.  The only one who matters is you, you, YOU.  I am so proud of the mentees of the HEB/Zooma Texas Girlfriend Program of which I am a mentor.

Squeeechhhhh.  HOLD UP.

Me, a mentor?

I can barely run faster than a walk and now I get to mentor someone who is new to running?  I hesitated from even applying to this program because 1) I'm SLOW. 2) I feel like I bitch a lot about running.  I'm old. My muscles creak.  My back is ache-y and I have to do yoga. 3) What could I possibly offer to others?

Ahhhh Lisa, my dear Lisa.  You have a lot to offer and need to stop comparing yourself to other, more seasoned/faster/skinnier/prettier blah blah blah runners.

You are smart enough. You are good enough.  And gosh darned, people like you.

To all of the new runners out there, I want to say the same- you are smart enough, you are good enough, and gosh darned, people like you.

I like you.

Now get out there and run.

The big surprise

Last night we finally celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. 

If you follow me on Facebook,

then you already know what surprise

my husband had in store for me

We had dinner at Pirahna Killer Sushi

by far, the absolute BEST sushi I have ever had.....

IN MY LIFE

we will be going back often

Then, in typical Anthony-fashion
he surprised me with the biggest, best gift that he has ever given me
we're not big gift-givers to begin with

He gave me the smallest gift with the best words

 

Then, I burst into tears.
This ring is absolutely
beautiful
perfect
mine.
LOVE.

13 years and counting

In 1994
a 22 year old girl met a 21 year old boy
in a club
on 5th Street in Austin, TX

Their first date was at the Hula Hut Restaurant

Her name was Lisa

She had just graduated college

and was working her first job

His name was Anthony

He was in the Army

He drove a crazy-colored car

Together, they had TONS of fashion sense- ha!

They dated for years

Enjoying the outdoors

Going out on the town

Dressing up for Halloween

And making each other laugh, A LOT.

Anthony kept on with his fashion style.

 

On January 2, 1999
they tied the knot
at the Salt Lick BBQ
in Dripping Springs, TX

Since then, they have traveled

and expanded the family
with first Sophie
then Sam
and finally Little Anthony

They're a little older
a little wiser
more patient and forgiving and ever-loving

They are passionate
enthusiastic
affectionate
prone to loudness
and busyness
and activity

as they show their children
what love and marriage is all about

Happy 13th Anniversary babe.
Here's to many more.