I drink a glass of wine.
I spend the day scouting out pre-schools for the youngest.
He is 4 already.
How and when did that happen?
He is growing up so quickly and for that I am thankful and also a little sad.
I used to be annoyed when he insisted on sitting in my lap at dinner.
He doesn't do that very often anymore so when he does, I welcome him with open arms.
Why is that?
Just a year or so ago, I would have been so annoyed when he would push his plate to me, climb on top and smother me with his boy-ness.
Now, I push my chair back a little more to make room for his legs and my legs and I lean into him.
Maybe because I know this time is fleeting and all too soon he won't want to sit on my lap at all.
The same goes with little dude sneaking into our bed in the middle of the night. That started a few months ago, about a month after moving into our new house. He was so quiet and sneaky about it. He wouldn't wake us- just squish his little body between mine and Daddy's. I would wake in the morning to find his little boy self curled into my self and how could I be annoyed? Not possible. I would lean in for more snuggles before I HAD to get out of bed. He continued that way, night after night, for a few months. And then, just like that, he stopped.
And every so often, on a random night here or there,
he will crawl back into our king-sized bed, without waking us, and bury his warm little body between his mommy and daddy.
He drives me freaking nuts every single day.
He also draws me in to his warmth, love, and snuggles every single night.
For so long, I wish he would be a little older, act a little older, do what the older kids do.
And now, I want him to remain his young, boyish self. I want to capture this moment in time, before it slips through my hands. I want to snuggle him as much and as long as he will allow it.