Monday, April 09, 2012

Poop Validation

I thought it would be easiest with the third child.

You know, this whole potty training thing.

I mean, I've done it twice already so I should be an old pro at it, right?

Wrong.

As he continually shows me, he is not his sister nor his brother.

He is made from the same cloth but different.

He is independent, stubborn, opinionated and does things on his own time.

I've been thinking about this post for a while and just couldn't write it, because I didn't want judgement from other moms.  It's hard enough to be a mom- potty train, discipline, educate, clean, drive, make decisions on a daily basis- without the judgement of others.  I didn't want to open myself up to that judgement- you know the one.

Your kid is 3.5 years old and NOT fully potty trained yet?  What the hell are you doing wrong?  Why can't YOU get it done?  My kid was potty trained by the time she was 2/2.5/3 years old.  You are SO behind ha ha.

YOU MUST NOT BE A GOOD MOTHER.

And ouch, even typing that hurts.  I know I am a good mother.  I love that kid so freaking much it hurts.  I know this is not a reflection of my parenting skills or is it?.

But we can't seem to get over the hurdle to poop in the damn potty.  Yeah, he is pee-trained (and I can't believe I am writing an entire post about my kid and his BOWEL movements).  He's doing great there- will wear his undies and not mess them up one bit.  BUT ha ha I am so juvenile, he will not poop on the potty, nor his underwear, thank goodness.

Where does he poop?  In a pull-up.  Yeah, I even cringed a tiny bit writing that.  But yes, I am his mom and my son still craps in a pull up and he is 3.5 years old.  I've tried everything to get him to poop on the potty and he is having NONE. OF. IT.

Bribery- nope. Special treats- nope.  Poopy party- nope.  Not talking about it for along time in hopes that he will do it on his own- nope.

Nada. Nope. Zilch.

In my mom gut/heart/soul, I KNOW he will do it when he is good and ready and over the fear of actually sitting on the commode to do his *business* instead of standing up to do his *business*.  I know he will be trained before he heads off to kindergarten in two years please oh god please oh god please oh god.

But when?

Surely I am not the only mother of an older child who isn't 100% potty-trained?

I feel somewhat silly asking the internet for validation but here it is, I am asking for poop validation.

Validate me, please?

I wrote this (finally) as part of The Extraordinary Ordinary's Just Write exercise.

14 comments:

Tara Pohlkotte said...

no one should be judging you! I don't remember what age my son was, but he did the same thing...only, in his underwear. bleh. one day he heard a noise downstairs while he was trying to go, and I hit that all time low mom position and said it was the potty fairy coming to see if he had gone... from that day on, as long as the potty fairy was around, he'd go. Point being one day, right after you lose your mind, it will happen like no big deal. :) hang in there!

Sarah G said...

My son was nearly 4 before he potty trained. Just keep in mind it WILL happen! Your boy will not go off to kindergarten in a diaper, I swear!

nicole said...

My oldest wasn't fully potty trained until she was 4.5. She wouldn't even pee in the potty for the longest time. She would wear underwear and hold it until we put her in a diaper for nap and bed. The doctor said to let it go, she would use the toilet when ready.

My current 4 yo just started pooping in the potty right before her 4th birthday. She asked for a diaper when she needed to poop. Frustrating, but not worth a fight. It was actually a church friend that got her to go in the potty--she paid her three quarters! So we did the same for a few days (giving her the same three coins) and now she just goes.

My MIL thought we should have taken our oldest to a psychologist!! For poop! We obviously didn't. This is a matter of will and you can't make him go. It really is easier to just let it go until he is ready. Worth it for all of you. He will go eventually!

Elaine A. said...

Well, like we talked about the other night, I've been there!! I don't think it has anything to do with you, really. I think it has to do with HIM and he will go when HE is darn well ready.

In the meantime, WINE anyone? ;-P

Tricia said...

When I was going through potty training, a fellow mom told me that 'Everyone you know uses the toilet.' This will happen! When he's ready, one day, I have a feeling he'll just do it. And how long that takes does not make you a bad mom. AT ALL. Hang in there!

Erin said...

Tommy is only 2.5, but I see us being in this same spot in a year. Luke was fully potty trained at this point. Tommy has yet to even pee once on the potty. When I ask him, he says he wants to go in his diaper. No interest at all. We mention bribes, but nope. He's just not interested and shows no signs in being interested any time soon!

One crazed mommy said...

LOL! Been there, done that!!! I had the daycare telling me that if my kids (both of them) weren't fully potty-trained by the time they were in 4K, they were being left behind!!! Both of mine had turned 4 before they finally would potty train. Seriously - we tried everything, and right before it was 4K time, they both FINALLY pooped in the potty. NOTHING I tried worked...I tried treats, new potties, charts, stickers, praise...you name it! They had it in their minds that they would go when they were good and ready...and they did! So...I'm completely validating you - I never judge when it comes to potty training! Actually, I don't judge other moms at anything, as long as I know that they are doing it for the right reasons and out of love for their child! Hang in there! :)
Jenn -
A mom who understands from SC

One crazed mommy said...

Oh - and you may want to try the Elmo Potty Time Video!!! I tried that late in the game, but my kids loved it!! LOL!

Minivan Mom said...

You know when Lucy was potty-trained? When her DAYCARE TEACHER asked me, sometime after her 2nd birthday (see I don't even know) "don't you think it's time to potty train her? She's showing signs" My working mom of 3 young children response? "If you want her to be potty trained, feel free to train her." And she did. Because I couldn't be bothered. So, you know, at least you're trying.

Precious said...

I"ve been reading your blog for a wihle and *had* to comment on this post.. So, my son will be 4 in June and JUST got daytime potty trained. I was anxious about it for months, but there was nothing i offered or knew i could do to make it happen. One day out of the blue he said he needed to go potty and wanted to go on the toilet. that was it. he's been trained since and it's been about 2 weeks. i didn't think it'd ever happen and what i learned is tht he'll do it in his own time. you can't force it. he wont be 5 and in pullups..my son didn't like the pomp and circumstance - he didn't even want people to know. i kept my cool and said i was proud and happy he made big boy decisions to use the potty. anyway, good luck!! it's not easy - let him lead the way..he'll do it in his own time.

Swim Bike Mom said...

Ahhhhh... glad I found your blog too. I love poop posts, and have about 1000 on my kid blog. Poop... what crap. :) Looking forward to reading more.

The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans said...

One word. BJ.

Absolutely NO judgement here, skank.

xoxoxo

C said...

I am going through the exact same thing. My daughter is 3 and will be 4 in September. She absolutely refuses to poopie in the potty...ugh!!! I stopped asking her to try in hopes that she will someday just do it on her own. I pray that its soon because those darn pull ups are expensive. It is,however, nice to see that I am not alone in this.

Thea @ It's Me Vs. Me said...

Emma was almost 4, I think, so don't sweat it. It'll happen.