A letter from the future to my present self

The lovely ladies over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans (hey- I'm one of them, woot woot!!!!) have once again challenged us to write a "Dear Self" letter.  Basically, they are asking our future 2012 self to write our present 2011 self to let us know what's going to happen for the year- the good, the bad, the struggles, and any advice that might be pertinent.

I have been putting this off like the plague, or whatever complimentary cliche would seem more right here.  2010 was such a great year for me- physically and mentally.  I am kind of scared that 2011 will be a disappointment, or that I won't live up to my own expectations.

This is exactly why I need to write this letter, to myself, today, from my future self.  To let me know, to remind me, to tell me, that I WILL BE THE BAD-ASS ATHLETE THAT I SO DESPERATELY WANT TO BE.

Here goes. 

January 17, 2012

Dear Self,

You remember that feeling you had when you were running on Sunday?  When Katy Perry's song "Firework" song came on?  Do you remember?  Let me refresh your memory.  You were hitting mile 2, going into Mile 3, thinking to yourself how hard running is, even after a year of doing it.  This song came on and for once in your life, you listened to the lyrics:

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

I know you are drowning in the details of putting your house on the market and buying land to build your dream house for your family, on top of all of the normal craziness that life with three children involves, but I am here to tell you that it will all work out- you WILL have that dream house and you will make new friends in a new neighborhood. 

I know you are worried that your closest, dearest-to-your-heart friends that live close by will forget about you once you are 30+ miles away, but I am here to tell you that won't happen- they love you too much and cherish your friendship just as much as you do.  Your children will adjust to new schools, new friends, and a new neighborhood.  Life will be good....no scratch that, life will be great!

Do you know that there's still a chance for you
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

I'm also here to tell you will complete your third half marathon in April and a fourth half marathon in the Fall.  I know you are thinking about that fourth one being the Nike Women's Half Marathon in San Francisco but really, you seriously need to discuss that with your husband to see if it even makes sense with all that is going on right now.  If not San Francisco, go ahead and look for a Texas-based half marathon in the Fall- there are plenty to choose from.

You don't have to feel like a waste of space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it's time, you'll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Guess what?  You also have some triathlons in your very near future.  I KNOW- squeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!  You will complete two sprint triathlons (500m swim, 12 mile bike, 3.1mile run) and then feeling confident, you'll take the plunge and register for an Olympic distance triathlon (1000m swim, 24 mile bike, 6.2mile run). 

I'm here to tell you that you will ROCK the swim portion and the running will come naturally since you do it so consistently already.  Make sure to get out on a real bike and get comfortable with it- learn the rules of the road (don't want to get hit by a car- doh!).  Sign up for a Masters swim class.  Hook up with a tri club- the support and knowledge will be invaluable. 

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through

I'm also here to tell you to stop focusing on the number on the scale.  Cut yourself a little slack (that doesn't mean to go crazy with the eating).  I am here to tell you to just continue to make healthy choices (put down the chips and salsa NOW!), exercise good and hard, and your natural body will follow.  Relax, don't get so stressed out and you will be in the coveted Size 10 once and for all- promise.

Cause baby you're a firework
Come on show 'em what your worth
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you're a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gunna leave 'em goin "Oh, oh, oh!"

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

Lastly, but most importantly, I am here to remind you why you cried when listening to this song. "Baby you're a firework, Come on let your colors burst....Come on, show 'em what you're worth"- it was these words that made you teary.  You know that you have been holding back a bit.  Don't get me wrong, I fully applaud your 2010 self for the wonderful physical strides she made, BUT you have SO much more in you to give.  You cried because YOU KNOW IT, TOO.

Lisa, 2011 is the year that you let your colors burst.  2011 is when you show 'em what you're worth....actually, 2011 is when you show YOUR SELF what you are worth. 

You are ALREADY the bad-ass athlete that you so desperately want to be- now you just have to believe it.

Love,
Your 2012 Self