I took all three kids to the car wash yesterday. It was our "outing" for the day- wahoo!
We gathered our free popcorn and took our seats while waiting for the car to be done. After watching my children's antics for a few minutes, an elderly gentleman sitting nearby asks me: What do you do in your spare time?
Honestly, I could not come up with an answer- not even a smart aleck quip, or something funny. I drew a blank. What the heck do I do with my spare time? Apparently, drag three young children to the car wash!
His question got me to thinking...... the majority of my friends have 2 children and are DONE. I cannot count the number of times I have heard: I could never have three children. How do you do it? Is your life just crazy?
Then from strangers: Wow, you have your hands full. I bet they keep you busy. Don't get much sleep, do you?
While these things are true- I do have my hands full. I am busy. I don't get much sleep.- I would never go back to my life of just two children. I love my THREE.
I started chatting with a woman at the car wash and I asked her how many children she had. Her reply: SIX. I started thinking what all my friends think about me: I could never have six children. How does she do it? Her life must be crazy.
I realized that that life and family and raising children are all relative. No matter how many children you have, you JUST DO IT. I thought life with one child (back in the day), was SO HARD. Then I thought life with TWO children was SO HARD. Now that I have three, and I kind of "get" this mothering gig, I don't really think life with THREE children is SO HARD.
Busy- yes
Crazy- yes
Tiring- yes
Loud- yes
Hard- No
I just do what needs to be done and carve out some time for me as I can.
I just do it.
And I love it. And I love them.
- Mommy Mo
- I am a mother of three, wife to one; lover of food, friends, and family.....especially food.
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18 comments:
Well said. Although I still think my mother was crazy for having 4 because we were AWFUL. We broke practically everything in the house, always made a mess, never did our chores, and tried to send each other to the hospital for fun. But she says it was the best time of her life. My youngest brother had 7 concussions before the age of 10! We are all adults now, and everytime we are together we remember something crazy we did as children and tell our parents about it. They had NO idea how crazy we really were.
I agree with the just do it part (I get the how do you have 3 children, a full time job, all their activities, etc all the time) but for me, it IS hard. I think I do a fairly adequate job of it, but I constantly feel like I'm just barely keeping my shit together.
But then, I pretty much have always felt that way!
I always hesitate when my gut reaction is to say to someone "I could never do..." because when you are in whatever situation you are in, you do just do it. You do what needs to be done, and sometimes it is harder than hard, but life doesn't stop and you just do it.
I should prefaced this post by saying that I have A LOT of support in the form of my MIL. She helps out quite a bit. AND, it is HARD sometimes. Just not as hard as I thought it would be. Also, my kids haven't reached the age where they are ALL in different, time-sucking activities. Not yet. I imagine juggling various activities for three will be just that - a juggle.
Beautiful. I come from a family of 5, my sister has 5, brother has 8(crazy, yes), my other brothers each have 3 and I have 4. I know that I am not done nor is my little brother (although I wish he were, heehee) and I know that people think I am crazy quite often. It's all what you can handle and what feels good to you.
This was just a beautiful post Lisa.
You said this so perfectly! I have 3 as well, and just about every friend I have thought I was crazy for adding that 3rd baby into the mix. Turns out, he is the sweetest most wonderful child, and I can't imagine NOT having him!
Mine are all boys, and in addition to the "You have your hands full" and "What do you do with your spare time" comments, I also get the "ALL boys? I feel bad for you" and "So, are you going to keep trying for the girl?" comments. Those bother me more than anything. Especially when they are made in front of my boys. I have come up with some snappy comebacks though...."No busier than a mom with 3 girls" is one I use often.
Now, if only I could convince my husband that 4 kids wouldn't be any harder than 3!!! :)
I love your post! I think that it's all relative to what each individual can handle (with a little help from others and a LOT from God ;) My girl is a handful sometimes, but I find I'm hitting a groove as a parent and it's not so bad. There are hard moments at times yes (hello potty training!) but I'd never take it back.
However, I might retract this statement whenever baby #2 comes along... :)
You do it and you just plain rock. It's true, it's all relative, and if you love it then that's all that matters. Of course you're not going to LIKE everything about it, but who likes everything about any job, right?
Great post.
Yay! I am thrilled that you are SO loving being Mommy to three :) Your attitude is probably blessing them more than you know. :)
I used to want four children. Now, I go back and forth with wanting them at all. Not because I don't love kids, I do, but because of other reasons.
I gave myself sort of a deadline, and it's coming up and I still don't know what to do. But I guess I'll figure it out.
I guess my point is that I don't question you at all because I thought four would be a good number! :o) And now I'm rambling, so I'll end the comment. :o)
I love this post. I hear all of those comments constantly. And just today someone said to me 'you're pregnant again, oh my gosh, I would NEVER have four.' It made me laugh because it sounded so harsh, but I knew what she meant.
It is all relative and I wouldn't change a thing. Although, I could NEVER have five. Kidding! (I mean I'm done, but I was joking.)
It's true, we just get it done each and every day. Some days may require the help of alcohol but we get it done :-)
It's true, we just get it done each and every day. Some days may require the help of alcohol but we get it done :-)
I have to admit I'm a little scared of how things will change in October. But of course I'm excited too and will be emailing you for your "mom of three" wisdom! ; )
Love you babe!
Good attitude. I know my limit and my limit is one. And I'm totally fine with that. I hate the comments I get all the time of "you're still young" or "why not have another" or "you don't want her to have siblings?".
Dude, shut up! LOL!
Hi there. Here via the EO's comment link up party. :)
I'm totally with you here. I have three boys and people will say stuff like "Look, it's Supermom!" and I wonder if they're being sarcastic or encouraging...but you're right. You just do it and some days are harder than others, but for the most part you're just rolling with it.
And I think 3 doesn't feel harder than 2 either. It must be the added experience or something. Glad to have clicked over!
Hey girl.....it's been forever since I visited your scene over here and Heather's little game has got me wanting to visit all kinds of people....
I love this post. I just do it. I'm gonna remember that girlfriend. I really really am. Because I do think life with my three little ones is hard sometimes but I'm gonna try and switch my brain to the more positive....just do it.
Love it and thank you.
:-)
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