Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Sad Moment of Truth

I had my 6 week follow-up visit with my ob/gyn this morning.

She asked me if there would be any more children and I replied NO.

And then I almost started crying.

We are done procreating and frankly, I'm sad about it. So many of my friends who know they are done having more children are estatic, exhilarated, enthusiastic......I am just sad. When I think about the fact that I will never be pregnant again, that I will never feel a baby move around in my belly again, that I will never experience childbirth again, well, it takes my breathe away. I know my friends must think I am crazy for thinking this way, but I am truly heartbroken over this fact.

There is so much more I would like to say, to truly allow myself to feel, but I have a limited amount of time to write this post before I am called back to motherhood, to reality. To allow all the feelings churning around inside to surface would take more than the five minutes I have right now.

To be continued......

Baby Mo at two weeks old

Baby Mo at 6.5 weeks old

19 comments:

Christy M. said...

I know how you feel. The fact that Mia's about to turn 1, makes me sad that I'll never experience pregnancy again or the wonder of childbirth, or the special cuddly moments with a newborn, too. Making that decision, that your're done, feels so final.

I cannot beleive how big Baby Mo' is getting. I can see those little arm rolls and his smile is so SWEET! I can't wait to see you again. It's been too long!

Lisa L said...

I went through the exact same thing. If I'd had a willing husband, I would've had 6 kids. It really is a grieving process when you wish you could have more, but for some reason or other you cannot. (((((hugs))))

manic mariah said...

Totally know what you mean, I had my tubes tied after the 4th. AND I REGRET IT NOW! Just once more is what I keep thinking. He is so cute!

Laurel said...

I feel your pain. I never wanted more than 2, but being Done is heartbreaking. I have gotten more and more confident of the decision over time, but I still tear up thinking about it. Luckily one of my children has turned out to be the work equivalent of two, so he's pretty good birth control. ;)

themrs said...

we're kind of at that crossroads now. we have four and have said since the youngest was born that we are done. now that my husband is thinking it's time to get snipped, i just don't know. i don't think i want any more, but i'm only 30 so what if i change my mind and it's too late? i've had several close friends lately tell me they regretted their vasectomy so now i'm not sure. but i really don't want to worry about birth control for the next 15 years!

Lindsay said...

Never say never! You might be like the mom of the little 6-month-old boy I babysit. She got the baby itch again at 37. Her first two kids are now almost 16 and 14. And they might want more! I personally would say absolutely not, but you might be different ;)

Look at little Mo' chunkin' up! He's getting cuter and bigger by the day!

Midwest Mommy said...

So funny that we both had these thoughts today.
I just don't know how to feel. I can't imagine doing it all over again but then I start thinking again...probably not on purpose :-)

*Lissa* said...

My hubby got fixed a few months after we had the twins. About a year later, I really started to regret it, thinking I wanted another baby. Now that they are five, however, I am SO GLAD we are done at four children. ;o)

And BTW, we live in North Dakota. I hate the cold and snow. I would trade for your TX weather any day!!!

Casey said...

I feel the same way about our decision too and my sister thinks I'm nuts. I love the pics, isn't it crazy how they change so fast?

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Does your comment mean you WOULD pay $5 to pet my wiener? :)

Hallie

Mom on the Run said...

I had the same experience as you. I was not sure after my second if we would have another. We waited a couple of years. I was so glad we decided to have a third. He really completed our family. Now he is a handful...but cute nonetheless.

The problem...I decided to have a tubal ligation as part of my 3rd c-section. I have to tell you I was wracked with emotions as a result of that decision. Six months later I knew I had made the right decision, but it took me quite some time to get to that point.

MaBunny said...

Awww, such a cute baby! First time visitor to your blog, noticed your comment on WWoW, and also noticed you mentioned you are Texas. I know Texas is huge but come on over and visit me at my blog and maybe we can see if we are even CLOSE!

McMommy said...

Oh noooooooo!!!! Don't tell me this!!! Because I only have two...and lately...oh, the thought of little baby feet and that baby smell....
McDaddy says we are DONE.
But I'm not so sure. :)

Mama Dawg said...

Those pictures are adorable.

I can't help you with the feelings you're having. I am 100% done with one. I don't miss being pregnant. I didn't have a rough pregnancy, in fact, I really enjoyed it.

But, I know that I'm done.

I hope you feel better about this soon.

Sue (spbray) said...

Oh My! I totally feel the same way. I had my third baby in April and I know that we are done, but I ache when I think about it for too long. I have started packing up the outgrown clothes and I start to cry! If I didn't have to work, if I wasn't 37, if money and time (not to mention sanity) were not an issue, then I guarantee I'd be pregnant again.

mom2natnkatncj said...

Awww well gee with a face like that of course you want to have more babies ;). I thought for sure after baby number 3 (who just turned 1) that I was done and then surprise. I am pregnant with number 4. Hubby was supposed to get a vasectomy in April, but due to some unforseen problems in February he had to take his vacation early and therefore couldn't have the procedure done in April and now here I am much to my shock expecting #4!

Vashey Fam said...

Your kids are so beautiful! I could understand why it would be hard. We're still working on #2 so haven't gotten to your point yet.

Tracy said...

Hi Lisa,

Baby Mo is so cute! He is really getting big.

I understand how you feel about not having anymore. I was not excited about the decision either. When hubby went in for the big "V" the kids and I sat in the waiting room. I was probably the sadest person in the room. My heart was breaking.

There are days that I am thankful there are only 2. Although, there are also days, I wish I could have more.

Enjoy those 3 babies.

themrs said...

you might get a laugh out of this post....
http://adayinthelifeofthemrs.blogspot.com/2008/05/just-another-day.html